Solutions for the Modern Cavewoman

Mom Caves—the female counterpart to the Man Cave—offer respite for busy, stressed mothers.  

More than half of moms today lack a personal refuge in their own homes, while nearly three-quarters of mothers say they would like one, says a HomeGoods poll examining parenthood and lifestyle. In contrast to the famous Man Cave, where men may indulge in watching sports on a flat-screen television or play pool,  the feminine version involves simpler pleasures.

Long Island, NY-based interior designer Jennifer Scully says her most frequent clients are families and that Mom Caves are “definitely a trend.”

After years of the ubiquitous Man Cave, why are Mom Caves suddenly gaining popularity? It may be that today’s women enjoy greater earning power than ever before, along with the stresses of continuing their traditional roles as family caregivers.   

“Ninety-nine percent of my clients are couples and the women do work outside the home,” Scully says. “I have dealt with a bunch of families where the man is working from home with the women working outside the home. Because of the economy, things are really changing.”  

That means that women feel they have a greater say in how to spend money on household expenses, including designing their own spaces for the home.   

“The women who I am dealing with feel so powerful and feel at least as equal as their partners,” Scully explains. "They also feel that if they are the ones taking care of the children and working until 5 or 6 o’clock, then cooking, cleaning, and doing everything until their husbands or partners come home, then they should be rewarded.”   

That reward, she adds, is having a small area in their home to have decorated however they want, and away from the “hustle and bustle of the kitchen.” 

“Moms are trying to find refuges even in small corners of their bedrooms or formal living rooms,” she tells demodirt.com. “The family room may have the flashy electronics but the mom is looking for a built-in window seat or a part of a room where she can have her own little corner and escape from the world.”  

While Man Caves offer more stimulation, Mom Caves provide simpler, quieter ways to relax.  According to HomeGoods, women favor crafting, scrapbooking, reading, or just socializing with girlfriends in their Mom Caves. 
 
”Typically the Man Cave involves watching sports and entertainment, playing video games, billiards or cards, and it is more flashy and in-your-face and technical, with geometrical shapes and dark colors,” Scully notes.   

Often moms are looking for a quiet space, not necessarily for entertainment or stimuli.  “I am getting asked for reading nooks very often; a chaise or a chair with an ottoman, some of the mom's favorite books stacked on a book shelf, a reading lamp and a side table for tea or coffee,” she reports.   

In contrast, Mom Caves are more flowery, with pastels, and may employ a “chaise instead of a black leather couch—the exact opposite” of the Man Cave, she adds.   

“Men prefer chrome and glass, [they want it to be] sleek, and are looking to assert their manliness in that space as much as possible, while women want to put their feminine touches on things,” Scully maintains.  

The element that the two retreats have in common, the designer says, is that they are both escapes from daily life and from work.  

A natural extension of the Mom and Man Caves? The Family Cave, says Scully, who is currently designing one for a family who is short on space for a separate room, but enjoys a large living area.   

The Family Cave for these clients, she explains, will feature separate areas for the wife, husband, and children, with each area seemingly mirroring their traditional counterparts.   

“The area for the wife is pretty, with overstuffed, comfortable reading chairs with ottomans, while the man’s space will feature huge flat screen,” Scully describes. “The children’s space will have comfortable overstuffed chairs and games. They are attempting to incorporate everything in one room.”  

Is the Mom Cave here to stay? Scully says yes.   

“Until the economy changes, I don’t see this trend going anywhere at all,” she says. “It is only going to get more and more popular.”  

The dismal housing market and poor economy have encouraged many families to want to make their homes their havens. Many want to make the best of homes they don’t see selling in the near future, and are not planning out-of-town vacations, either.   

“Many of my clients would prefer to move, but since the housing market is what it is, they cannot afford to move,” Scully explains. “They are either adding extensions or repurposing rooms or space, and creating little retreats.”   

Preferring to entertain at home, clients are building outdoor pools and outdoor kitchens, as well as creating extensions on their homes, hoping to make their homes venues for staycations.  These improvements are investments, clients and designers maintain, as they turn out to cost less than vacations, since they can use these amenities for as long as they live in their homes.